Alun, are you saying that the only value of a gig is self imposed? Because isn't that true of everything? I'm not trying to put words into your mouth or anything, just trying to understand. Because I feel like nothing is intrinsically good or bad, it's up to each of us individually how seriously we take something. Obviously there are outside factors and when it comes to personal enjoyment there's a nature vs nurture argument perhaps. I am certain you think this also which is why I think I don't quite understand your point.
The bottom line is I'm always very self conscious all the time about everything. Well not all the time, but enough of the time for me to say all the time. You see how I'm actually even self conscious about saying I'm self conscious?
MY POINT IS that for a long time I tried to be as objective as possible. And I managed to find a way to hate every single thing I did or decision I made or thing I said from some angle of looking at it or thinking.
Do we need to pick sides or something? Decide - these are my beliefs and I am prepared to kill anyone who disagrees with me?
Tom, are you saying I should volunteer at a dog rehab centre?